Odd Future Needs To Get Back To The Music

February 22, 2012 27 comments

I have a Google Reader that allows me to subscribe to all of my favorite websites and be notified when they have new content. That way I don’t have to check back or scroll through every single post. Everything is neat and organized, and makes finding stuff later on a breeze. Anywho, I was checking Mostly Junk Food and they posted a new video from everyone’s favorite hip hop rebels, Odd Future. I used to consider myself a huge fan of Odd Future, as they have an insane knack for making cohesive bodies of work and painting very vivid pictures with their lyrics. Their story telling ability is way beyond their age, and that goes for all members in the collective. I even purchased a physical copy of Tyler, the Creator’s “Goblin” album. I was very underwhelmed when I actually heard the album, and the taste in my mouth from that has kinda carried over to everything Odd Future has done or released since then. Whenever I encounter them nowadays I always feel like they must win back my support by giving me what I, and most of the fans, really want: quality music.



“The random animals, the blonde wigs, the ejaculating on passers-by as Hodgy moves on the bed of a truck, it’s all art thru the eyes of ADHD school children. Not the talented musicians they have proven to be.”


After watching their new video “Rella” I was again left with a feeling of disappointment. The song is good enough, with dark production we’ve become accustomed to from Left Brain and pretty solid rhymes from Hodgy Beats, Domo Genesis and Tyler the Creator. However, it feels like I’ve heard the song before. The song is pretty standard fare if you’re familiar with the catalogue that MellowHype and Domo Genesis have created so far, and Tyler’s verse is a nice touch. But the video is seemingly weird for the sake of being weird. I can go along with pretty much anything if it’s done well, but it all seems like it’s done solely for shock value purposes. The random animals, the blonde wigs, the ejaculating on passers-by as Hodgy moves on the bed of a truck, it’s all art thru the eyes of ADHD school children. Not the talented musicians they have proven to be.

I feel like it was less than a year ago that Odd Future were media darlings and seemingly making every right move needed to capitalize on their buzz. They were selling out concerts all over, they were on a European tour, and they were gaining mainstream recognition for Frank Ocean’s “Nostalgia/Ultra” project. And not to be overlooked was the mysterious disappearance of one of their most talented members, Earl Sweatshirt. This created the iconic “FREE EARL” slogan, which would emblazon t-shirts, apparel, bumper stickers, and more. Tyler then released the “Yonkers” video, which seemingly took the world by storm. Next thing you know Odd Future is performing on Jimmy Fallon’s show on network television. It seemed like Odd Future had the world at its finger tips and could do no wrong.

Then the wheels started coming off overnight. Tyler released a backwards thinking “GOBLIN” album, which seemingly was aimed at scaring away potential fans instead of gaining fans. Chris Brown tweeted a compliment to Frank Ocean, comparing him to award winning songwriters James Fauntleroy and Kevin Cossom, and Frank Ocean misinterpreted his words and this started a huge war of words between the two. This led to some pretty sketchy stuff outside of the music world, but none of that matters to the average fan. They want new quality music. Not re-releases of MellowHype’s “BLACKENEDWHITE” album via iTunes.


“You can’t go almost a full calendar year without dropping new material if your collective has 9 people in it. You can’t release a lackluster project to the masses and then not follow it up with more material to amend for your mistake. You can’t substitute a controversial Twitter feed and Tumblr for producing quality music. And most importantly, you can’t continue to keep everything in house if you’re not creating fresh new interesting sounds out of that camp.”


The reason that Odd Future garnered such media attention was that they were producing high quality music, with a new project dropping every few months. They were able to spread around the voice so that everyone in the camp was able to drop music, and keep the machine moving. Since “GOBLIN” was released and they created their own Odd Future Records label on April 26, 2011, they have gone on to release two albums. Two. They released “12 Odd Future Songs,” which was somewhat of a sloppily put together greatest hits album in October and The Internet’s “Purple Naked Ladies” in December. That’s right. A music crew that prided themselves on releasing high quality product has released only 1 album of new material in the last 10 months. It’s been almost a year since the world has heard a new project from MellowHype, Frank Ocean or Tyler the Creator.

The music that was released as free downloads was of very low quality. Mike G released the extremely poor “Award Tour EP” and Domo Genesis released a generic “Jackin’ for beats” tape in “Under the Influence.” Neither was going to win the rap collective any new fans, which is what every release should be doing since they were dealing with the lackluster success of the “GOBLIN” album. By the time they released the critically acclaimed The Internet album, most of the buzz they had created had vanished into thin air. People simply stopped caring about them.

I also would like to touch on the subject of Earl Sweatshirt. I don’t know if it was a marketing ploy, if he was really in Samoa, or whatever other rumors were swirling around his disappearance, and frankly I don’t care. All I know is that it’s been almost 2 years since he’s recorded any new material. Artists such as Maxwell can get away with taking 2 years off in-between albums because their back catalog is of such high quality and high replay value. Earl Sweatshirt dropped one ten song project, then disappeared for 2 years. The whole “Free Earl” thing is cool for a couple months. Not 20 of them. No one cares about Earl that much. After awhile you just become a caricature of yourself, especially considering when the group was at the height of their buzz and success while Earl was nowhere to be found. I guess they thought they could add Frank Ocean into the mix and no one would notice. Well, they were wrong.

To me, this is a case of an artist, or group of artists, forgetting why they achieved the fan bases that they have. You can’t remove one of your most talented members from the equation and expect the fans to remain. You can’t go almost a full calendar year without dropping new material if your collective has 9 people in it. You can’t release a lackluster project to the masses and then not follow it up with more material to amend for your mistake. You can’t substitute a controversial Twitter feed and Tumblr for producing quality music. And most importantly, you can’t continue to keep everything in house if you’re not creating fresh new interesting sounds out of that camp.

The quintessential Odd Future moment for me is when Tyler the Creator won an award at the MTV Video Music Awards and he gets up there, visibly appreciative of the recognition, and then gives an expletive laden acceptance speech. Tyler dropped a truly inspirational speech on stage but it was littered with so much profanity that after it was censored you couldn’t get the message that he intended to use to motivate his young fans. If you didn’t know who Odd Future was before that point you probably wouldn’t want to bother to find out what he actually said and would just forget his segment all together. And that represents Odd Future. They’re insanely talented, all of them, but they have a way of leaving bad first impressions. And often with fans, you don’t get a chance to make another. When the stove is hot, you have to capitalize. And unfortunately, they have dropped the ball. And now that they are gearing up to release a compilation album in the near future and more material, it may be too late. And it probably is.


SMH: MTV’s Hottest MC of 2011 Nominees

February 13, 2012 9 comments

MTV is at it again. Instead of sticking to what they know (tanned douche bags and pregnant teenagers), they have to come and remind us that they occasionally dabble in the music scene. MTV Jams is the only worthy contribution MTV has made to my life outside of JWoww. The annual Hottest MC list has become a piñata for rap fans, and the release of the list inspired me to grab my literary bat and bash it until mini-liquor bottles and condoms fall out (after seeing one of these piñatas at my friend’s birthday party a few years ago, I’m never going back to candy).

The snub of Kendrick Lamar was the most common complaint, but Kendrick was not included due to being a nominee for Hottest Breakthrough MC of 2011 (yea, I didn’t know they had this, either). Machine Gun Kelly won that award via popular vote (lolz). Also snubbed was J.Cole, who wasn’t included on either the Breakthrough or main MC list despite having a #1 album. Has the machine already given up on making J.Cole happen? J.Cole not making the list is the first piece of news I’ve heard about him since Cole World was released. He took the snub like an adult…

So here’s the list. You may want to grab some lean for this.

2 Chainz

My god, someone at MTV might actually be paying attention to good rap music! That was usually Buttahman’s role, but he’s moved on to BET. 2011 was exceedingly kind to 2 Chainz – Codeine Cowboy and T.R.U. REALigion were embraced by critics and the streets alike, and the dirty Sprite-sippin’ spitter outclassed Ludacris and Busta Rhymes in the BET cypher. Now he’s a must-have guest verse, scoring two appearances on Rick Ross’ Rich Forever and inking a deal with Def Jam.

Top 10 Chances: Dark horse candidate

50 Cent

Wait, what?! 50 Cent hasn’t released an album since 2009! The Big 10 mixtape came out late last year, but who was checking for it?

Did you ever think our attitudes toward 50 Cent would come to this? Flash back to 2002-2003, when 50 Cent had the rap world eating out his bullet-riddled palms. My friend’s birthday party was the week Get Rich or Die Tryin’ came out, and he burned copies for the crew for party favors (I bought my own copy, too, RIAA snitches following my timeline). Every rap fan knew that album backwards and forwards. At that time, it was unconscionable that I’d ever be indifferent towards 50 Cent, but almost 10 years later, I couldn’t care less.

Top 10 Chances: None, unless MTV implements a Lifetime Achievement clause to get him in.

Big Sean

The man my roommate’s girlfriend calls “the cutest little rapper” had a weird 2011. Big Sean dropped the cheesy Finally Famous album, which got a lot of mainstream love, so good for him. Then there was the diss from Ludacris regarding the origins of the Supa Dupa/hashtag flow, who’s using it properly (not Ludacris), etc. But I’m creeped out by the fact that a rapper who makes music for high school girls caught a sexual harassment charge from a high school girl. Gross.

Top 10 Chances: It’s possible because he appeals to MTV’s target demographic, and apparently MTV’s target demographic appeals to him. Ew.

Common

Common is out here like he’s serious about rap again! The Dreamer/The Believer surpassed my (low) expectations and he’s got rap beef with Drake to boot. I can do without their bickering over sweaters and Serena, but I’m in full favor of Common giving us more songs like “Ghetto Dreams.”

Top 10 Chances: I wouldn’t count him out. Common is everybody’s go-to non-threatening rapper. He’s like instant validation for your hip-hop needs. President Obama wanted to bring some soul to the White House poetry night and had to choose between Common or Trick Daddy, and wisely chose the former.

Drake

We here at MJF love us some Drake. I randomly sing lines from “Shot For Me.” My roommate is on record as a Drake-hater, but he sings Drake in the shower. Somehow all the guests at my Super Bowl party broke into “Marvin’s Room.” I’ve had numerous people tell me they read @DrakeDoinThings for their daily pick-me-up. How does he have this hold on us? Is it because he’s so cuddly? Is it because it’s so adorable when he tries to be tough? I can’t call it.

Top 10 Chances: If MTV leaves him off the list, I’ll tattoo his name on my forehead so he knows that it’s real.

Eminem

The Bad Meets Evil album was hot. His verse from the Shady 2.0 cypher was hotter. The “Posdnuos was caught with a prostitute…” flurry at the end was FLAMES. You know that beaten-to-death phrase “favorite rapper’s favorite rapper” that everybody uses to describe whichever rapper they happen to be writing about? That title belongs to Eminem. Every single interview I’ve seen or read where the interviewee, be it an OG or up-and-comer, is asked his/her favorite rapper, Eminem is invariably mentioned. Shady is undeniable.

Top 10 Chances: MTV would never pass on the chance to feature Eminem. Take it to the bank.

Fabolous

I have no legitimate reason for not having listened to There Is No Competition 3: Death Comes in 3s. I loved the first two installments, gave The S.O.U.L. Tape a lot of love, and will always check for anything by Fabolous. He easily has some of the most entertaining punchlines in hip-hop. He’s like the Lamar Odom of the rap game: cool guy, great sense of humor, and just seems to be genuinely liked. Outside of Ray J, who doesn’t like Fabolous?!

Top 10 Chances: Good. He might sneak in at 9 or 10 off the strength of two mixtapes. Plus his inclusion would give us another excuse to replay Ray J’s phone call to the Breakfast Club.

French Montana

The streets love Frenchie. He’s not flashy, he’s not complicated, he’s just a dude from NY who hustled his way into relevance. He still sounds technically raw and strikes me as a New York version of Waka Flocka. His harmonizing over “Return of the Mack” will bring you to tears, be it tears of boredom, despair, or hilarity. If they’re tears of joy, I will ask the church to pray for you. But he must be doing something right: Diddy and Ross were both vying for his services before French ultimately signed to Bad Boy. French went on to claim that he’s the first Bad Boy artist to own his publishing, prompting all the artists that Diddy screwed to cry and shake uncontrollably. Word is that French almost signed to G.O.O.D. Music, but it fell through due to Kanye West not owning a cell phone. Seriously.

Top 10 Chances: I have no fucking idea.

Jadakiss

The greatest guest-verse artist in the history of the game outside of Eminem, Jadakiss could forgo dropping albums and just give us hot 16s throughout the year and I’ll be totally fine with it. I Love You was just “ehhh,” but Jada and Styles P laid claim to the hottest “Otis” cover, BY FAR.

Top 10 Chances: Slim. Lukewarm mixtape with a couple guest verses don’t scream “Top 10” to me.

Jay-Z

Jay-Z made the cut? MUST BE ILLUMINATI. Or the fact that Watch the Throne was a massive success. His nomination was never in question.

Top 10 Chances: THE ILLUMINATI WILLS IT!

Jim Jones

You must be joking. Jim Jones is a figurehead more than anything else. I like his random ad-libs and the grimy, I-need-a-shower feel he brings with him, but never for a full album. Despite the stylish images that Capo presented, I always imagine Jim Jones going around wearing dirty white tees. Thanks to Love & Hip Hop, I know better. Unfortunately, that show brought his wife Chrissy Lampkin into my life. I had no idea who she was until my roommate, a historian on all things ratchet, informed me of Chrissy’s sordid past. Gross, Jimmy.

Top 10 Chances: Nobody from the Dipset should be winning anything until they’re all back in the studio together. The fact they’re reuniting for Paid Dues gives me hope.

Kanye West

The other half of Watch the Throne, Kanye can do no wrong right now. Besides, he got his “wrong” out of the way with that horrid 808s album. Few people in hip-hop are making music as good as Kanye’s. The upcoming G.O.O.D. Music album is one of the most anticipated projects of the year. He’s a superstar in his prime, let’s enjoy the ride.

Top 10 Chances: That shit cray.

Lil’ Wayne

No. God no. Carter IV sucked massive, elephantitis-afflicted testicles. Ever since he left Rikers, Weezy hasn’t been the same rapper. He’s been unimaginative, predictable, and…boring. How did we get here? Wayne made his name on being the antithesis of those, but he’s a shell of his 2006-2008 “Greatest Rapper Alive”-era self. He’s making me wonder if Gillie the Kid was right.

Top 10 Chances: Of course he’ll make the Top 10. MTV knows that Weezy = ratings.

Lloyd Banks

Lloyd Banks’ The Cold Corner 2 was a G-Unit-less affair and turned out to be one of the better mixtapes of 2011. Banks quietly has the most consistent body of work out of everybody from G-Unit, 50 Cent included. 50 has higher highs, but much lower lows, and Tony Yayo is just a waste of a great rap voice.

Top 10 Chances: He deserves a nod over 50 Cent, but MTV wouldn’t dream of it.

Maino

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!! WHO IS STILL CHECKING FOR MAINO?!?

Top 10 Chances: I can’t…

Meek Mill

That’s more like it! Meek Mill has one of my favorite voices in rap, and is in a great place to shine with Maybach Music Group. Dreamchasers might be my roommate’s favorite mixtape of 2011, and it definitely deserved consideration for the Top 10 Mixtape lists. If you haven’t listened to it, immediately check “Don’t Panic,” “Tony Story,” “Love Don’t Live Here,” and, aw hell, the whole damn tape! A lot of the production is Lex Luger-ish but it’s worth it. Add that tape to his contributions to Self Made and numerous guest spots, and Meek Mill compiled an impressive 2011 resumé.

Top 10 Chances: Put him in, coach!

Nas

Nas made roughly 6 appearances in 2011, including “Be Right” and “Courthouse” which originally leaked in 2010 but were properly released last year. But “Nasty” was HOT FIRE. Nasty Nas is back, baby! At least I hope so. Being a Nas stan is a tough racket because I have no idea what to expect from him at this point in his career besides his penchant for crappy beat selection. We could get Stillmatic one track and Nastradamus on another, and both would be produced by Chris Webber.

Top 10 Chances: Street’s Disciple – long, not great, but underrated.

Nicki Minaj

Nicki Minaj was everywhere in 2011. She’s a crossover star, everybody’s trying to work with her (except Lil’ Kim and Khia), and she’s even got Taylor Swift rapping “Super Bass.” I actually give her credit for making hip-hop more accessible to females who are more comfortable listening to Lady Gaga than Big L. I highly support more ladies at rap shows.

Top 10 Chances: You bet her sweet ass she’ll be in the Top 10.

Red Café

OH COME ON. I like Red Café but you must be outside your damn mind if you think Red Café is one of the 25 hottest rappers right now. Quick – what’s the name of the Red Café song that has the streets buzzing? Don’t worry, I’ll wait…

Top 10 Chances:

Rick Ross

Let’s see: Self Made Vol. 1 had some heaters, he’s raking in the guest-verse checks, and I wouldn’t be caught dead without at least two Rick Ross projects on me. If you could make the kind of music Ross is making right now, you too can be rich forever. No-brainer nomination.

Top 10 Chances: UNGH!!

T.I.

Another Lifetime Achievement nomination. Tip spent more time in the pen than the studio. 2006 called, it wants its Hottest MCs list back.

Top 10 Chances: Surely you can’t be serious.

Wale

Wale signing to MMG was a great career move, but don’t tell me you were really feeling that Ambition album. However, I will credit him for making three of my favorite songs of the year: “600 Benz,” Barry Sanders,” and “Legendary.” I have a love/hate with Wale because he’ll flash brilliance, then drop something lukewarm, follow with a hot joint, then disappoint. I keep a coin that has a deep scratch across the face of one side to flip in the event someone comes up to me and asks how I feel about Wale.

Top 10 Chances: *flips coin*

*coin rolls out of office and into the ladies’ room*

I’m gonna wait until my homie who uses the ladies room gets nature’s call so he can get that for me.

Wiz Khalifa

Amber Rose crushes Wiz Khalifa during sex.

This is my new friend Wiz, and for just 10 cents a day, you can feed this poor starving child.

Wiz counts as a carry-on when Amber Rose goes on flights (I really hope I didn’t steal this from Big Ghost Chronicles. This sounds like something he’d say about Wiz).

Top 10 Chances: As much as I wanted to make a “slim chance” crack, he’ll likely be on it.

Yelawolf

I personally like Yelawolf. He impressed me in the Shady 2.0 cypher and I dug Trunk Muzik, but Radioactive was a tough listen due to the shackles the label put on Yela. I’m not a big fan of his voice, either, but I think I have the fix: he could be the evolutionary Jadakiss. If I could get Yelawolf in 16-bar doses on other people’s songs, I would be thrilled (see Big Boi’s “You Ain’t No DJ.”)

Top 10 Chances: A definite maybe. I hope he gets on just for the exposure, and then I can use that shine as a launchpad for my campaign to get the A&R responsible for Radioactive fired.

Young Jeezy

Aaaaaayyyy!! Thug Motivation 103 finally saw the light of daaaayyyy! CTE is the movement right now, with TM103 out in addition to the The Real is Back mixtapes. I’ve always marveled at the unbridled love the industry has for Young Jeezy. If you ever ask a rapper not affiliated with MMG about Jeezy, they will immediately start fawning over him. So what if he doesn’t have insane mic skills? His ear for beats, comedic rhymes, and infectious hooks (“Bandana on the choppa! Bandana on the choppa!”) make him indispensable. Plus the whole drug-dealing reputation doesn’t hurt his popularity, either.

Top 10 Chances: Ayyyyyy!!!!!

So there are the 25 Hottest MCs, according to MTV. You all know who’s missing, right? No, not some underground cat that has a 5-mile radius in your podunk town buzzing.


I can’t believe you muthafuckas forgot about me…

PUSHA T! PUSHA TON! PUSH A TON OF THAT SHIT THAT MAKE YOUR NOSE RUN! HOW IN THE HELL DID PUSHA T GET LEFT OFF THIS LIST?!

There are people who are less famous than him on the list. There are people who are more gutter than him on the list. And there are an abundance of people who are worse than him on the list. What gives, MTV? Were the Fear of God tapes too much piff to handle? Does Consequence have dirt on the members of the selection committee? I want answers! And if I don’t get them, I’ll..I’ll…uh…write another strongly-worded piece! That’ll show ‘em!


Sweet Chin Music 2: The Mega Powers Explode! 5 More Wrestling References in Hip-Hop

January 26, 2012 No comments yet

When Public Enemy’s Chuck D declared rap music to be “CNN for the streets,” he omitted that it could also serve as the USA Network. From Salt ‘N’ Pepa accompanying portly wrestling rhyme-writer PN News ringside to Wyclef Jean enlisting The Rock as a Refugee All-Star to John Cena teaming up with indie-rap *it* producer Jake One for his entrance theme, the rap and wrestling connection is a long and storied one.

After last year’s original Sweet Chin Music post on wrestling references in rap music, I noticed an influx of squared-circle heroes being shouted out all over some of the past year’s most acclaimed releases. With the blessing of MJF and the power of Hulkamania, I bring you Sweet Chin Music 2: The Mega Powers Explode!

Killer Mike – “Ric Flair”


From the album Pl3dge

Atlanta’s proud histories of professional wrestling and Hip-Hop have always gone hand-in-hand. Andre 3000 of Outkast arrived in 1994 declaring it was “time to drop these ‘bows like Dusty Rhodes”, his partner Big Boi and Kilo have stated intentions to “DDT That Hoe” and one of the hottest producers in rap today borrows the name Lex Luger. Last year Killer Mike built an inspirational tale of rising out of poverty using Ric Flair interview snippets in place of a chorus for that extra touch of charisma.

Don Trip & Starlito – “Boats and Hoes”


From the free mixtape Step Brothers

Last July, to coincide with the film’s 3rd anniversary, former Ca$h Money artist Starlito teamed with Don Trip for a concept mixtape loosely based around the movie Step Brothers. The release captures the energy of the film with the two unleashing lyrics with absurd references to out-entertain each other and listeners. On “Boats and Hoes,” their humorous loose cannon stream of consciousness is perhaps best summed up with the off-the-top-rope lyrics “I don’t get as high as I used to – Vince Carter / I’m lyin’, I’m flyin’, I’m Brian Pillman high!”

Action Bronson – “Amuse Bouche”


From the free EP The Program

Queens rapper and respected chef Action Bronson might very well be the biggest wrestling fan in Hip-Hop. From naming a song on his album Dr. Lector after frequent loser “Barry Horowitz” to opening his song “Mr. Songwriter” with “Peace to the Ultimate Warrior,” his passion for wrestling seems second only to rapping itself. On “Amuse Bouche,” off his free EP The Program, Bronson boasts he’s “been fly since the Big Boss Man feud with the Mountie” as well as proudly calls himself “a rocker like Marty Jannetty.”

Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire – “The Maltese Falcon Parts 1 and 2”


From the free mixtape Lost in Translation

Perhaps the most inventive of wrestling references has come from Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire. From “piledriving the pussy like Paul Orndoff” to poignantly describing childhood escapism with “what went on in my room? Demolition vs. Legion of Doom” on his mixtape Lost in Translation, he knows how to tap into wrestling nostalgia in the best of ways. On his epic re-imagining of Dashielle Hammett’s The Maltese Falcon, eXquire tells the story substituting Sgt. Slaughter for the antagonist and somehow managing to namedrop the comparatively-obscure Los Boricua member Savio Vega (!) along the way.

Papoose – “Pipe Bomb (Featuring CM Punk)” (Massive Trip Blend)

CM Punk’s “shoot promo” (an interview segment made to appear as if he was going off-script) last June managed to capture social media outlets in a way the WWE hadn’t really been able to before. Along with over a million YouTube views, Punk’s rant racked up an additional 300,000+ views on popular rap media hub WorldStarHipHop. In another testament of Punk making the WWE relevant again, is interviews are being sampled like the wrestlers of yesteryear. Here, producer Massive Trip pairs up the vocals from Papoose’s “Otis” freestyle with an original beat and a “feature” from CM Punk on the chorus, which is as much of a “feature” as Otis Redding was on the original, but somehow the chopping up of Punk’s voice works.

While it’s unfortunate we may never get a full fledged wrestling-rap album on par with Randy Savage’s ‘Be A Man’ (unless Lil Wayne re-enters his “Macho Man” obsession phase), these works from such very different artists show how unifying both wrestling and Hip-Hop can be.

Chaz Kangas is on Twitter. @ChazRaps


Next On Deck: Joe Cool (Interview)

January 19, 2012 5 comments

When it comes to listening to new artists, regardless of genre, there’s a natural hesitancy on the part of music fans—especially in Hip-Hop. As natural skeptics, most of us won’t give a new rapper a chance without first asking a barrage of questions: Where’s he from? Why is he special? What’s his best song? The list goes on. It’s kind of our attempt at filtering out music we think we won’t like before it even gets to our ears. Sometimes, though, that natural hesitancy and skepticism can cause us to miss out on dope music—music we might actually like. Joe Cool makes dope music—no questions asked.

With music bloggers still drooling over his hit single, “I Wanna Sell Drugs,” and the release of his highly-anticipated mixtape, Cooley Hi, the Chicago-born, Louisiana-bred rapper seems poised to become Mr. Popular in this new school of emcees.

Mostly Junk Food: The first song most people heard from you was “I Wanna Sell Drugs,” which came out in September. How did you come up with that song and was it based on a true story?

Joe Cool: Hell yeah. I made the beat first and was just vibin’ to it for a couple of days. I was just in that kind of mode. It just clicked. I was going through that situation at the time. I was trying to get my music the way I wanted it and trying to get noticed. At the same time, I’m still playing this daily worker shit. A lot of young black men go through that shit. I know a lot of regular dudes who sell drugs. It’s not because it’s something they want to do, they just end up in bad situations. I was thinking about it, but was like, “I can’t get caught up because if I do it’s going to be a wrap.” I’m 22. I’m starting to feel an urgency now. I’ve been chasing this since I was 15.

MJF: How long were you doing music before “I Wanna Sell Drugs”?

JC: Probably six years. I was around 17 when I was like, “This is what I’m going to do. No one’s going to tell me anything else.”

MJF: Did you ever get discouraged between then and now?

JC: Awww, man—the stories. When I first started producing I was 16 going on 17. I tried to reach out to a whole bunch of people. When I first started recording my songs, I got in contact with Soulja Boy’s manager. I used to ride with them for a little bit.

MJF: As a producer?

JC: As an artist and producer. This is before Soulja popped.

MJF: Was this when he was in Mississippi?

JC: Yeah. This is when he was living in Batesville. My homie Miami Mike was just picking up artists he thought was dope at that time. He had Soulja and he was doing shows and stuff. Everybody else was kind of in the back. I used to be mad hype. I was like, “If Soulja pop, I’m going to pop.” It didn’t work like that. After that I kept trying to perfect my shit. Then I got in contact with Spitta (Curren$y) a little bit after he got off of Cash Money. I was messing with this guy I met in New Orleans and he put me on with some other guy who worked with Curren$y. One day I called him and he just so happened to be in the studio and I emailed him two beats. He was like, “Yeah, those beats are fire.” That nigga probably don’t even remember that shit, but I do. That was big to me.

MJF: Did Currren$y end up using the beats?

JC: Nah, he didn’t. I was kind of bummed. I was like, “Whatever, I’ll just have to make doper beats.”

MJF: I see a lot of new artists who come in with their own in-house producers. Drake has 40 and Boi1da from the OVO—Wiz came in with Cardo, Sledren and the whole Rostrum Records team. You said you produce your own music. Do you produce all of it and do you have a team around you?

JC: I have a pretty dope team around me. It’s me, my homie Aartt Shou and my homie Ant. We really try to produce everything. Aartt Shou, he’s a rapper and producer and Ant produces and engineers. They both have some production on Cooley Hi.

MJF: How did you get the name Joe Cool?

JC: I like the Peanuts—Snoopy, Charlie Brown. Plus my last name is Brown. I used to go by my real name, Terrance Brown. One day I was just flowin’ and I said “Joe Cool.” I was rapping on the “Everybody” instrumental, that old Fonzworth Bentley, Kanye and Andre 3000 beat. I said it and was like, “Damn, that felt good.” I was like, “Welp, I gotta keep it now.”

MJF: One of the consistencies I noticed about your music is that almost all of it has a smooth feel to it. “October Afternoon” showcases you rapping over Kool & the Gang’s “Summer Madness,” which DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince later sampled for “Summertime.” Where do you get your musical influences from?

JC: I fucking love Marvin Gaye. My granddad put me on when I was real young. I didn’t know anything about making love to anybody. He gave me a cassette of Midnight Love with the a-side and the b-side. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it was cool. I just like a lot of smooth stuff anyway. It just catches my ear. I listen to every genre besides country.

MJF: Who are some of the non-rap artists you listen to?

JC: I like a lot of indie bands. There’s this band called The Radio Department, I listen to a lot of their stuff and I sampled a couple of their songs. I like Foster the People. Their album was really good.

MJF: Who were some of the rappers you listened to growing up?

JC: The first rapper I ever heard was probably Snoop. After the Internet got big and everyone was on Limewire, I was listening to Em’, Jay (Jay-Z)—the obvious ones. I listened to a lot of Onyx. It’s just something about that street shit—that New York shit. I used to want to be from New York so bad. I listened to a lot of P. Diddy too. I aint gon’ lie. And I listened to a lot of B.I.G. and a lot of Ma$e.

MJF: It’s interesting because you haven’t listed a single Louisiana rapper yet. Did any of that influence you?

JC: I fucked with the Hot Boyz when they came out. I fucked with that shit heavy. But the music from everywhere else, I always listened to that more because what I was hearing every day in the street—it was the same ol’ Louisiana shit.

MJF: Do you ever put any of that N.O. Bounce sound in your music?

JC: Sometimes. A lot of the beats I used to make were heavy on—down here it’s called jig music. It kind of has some bounce to it. I used to put a lot of that into my beats. I’m influenced by a lot of that southern shit on the production side. It’s kind of on that Texas-sounding shit, with some Louisiana shit. I listen to a lot of bands. A lot of times I hear music that I like and I’ll sample it. Even if it’s a pop song, I’ll try to sample it in a way where it’ll sound hard as fuck.

MJF: Do you think that’s an advantage—rappers who also produce their own work?

JC: It is. A lot of artists don’t have avenues to get exactly what they want. It’s harder for them to paint the picture because they have to depend on somebody else. When you can do everything, the beats, the whole record—you have an edge.

MJF: What do you think of the atmosphere in Hip-Hop right now? There are a lot of new artists that are making a lot of noise.

JC: There are a lot of new faces. That shit is cool as fuck. Everybody was saying Hip-Hop was dead. Now it’s like, if your favorite rappers are everybody you hear on the radio you’re losing. It’s really about the new artists right now. We’re supposed to keep shit going. We’re supposed to surpass everybody. That’s how I look at it. Motherfuckas should be trying to be better than B.I.G. and better than ‘Pac and all those people they said were great.

MJF: Tell me about Cooley Hi and what fans can expect from it.

JC: I worked on it for a couple of months. The first mixtape I put out was Mixtape For No Fucking Reason. I released that in 2010. Cooley Hi is my second tape, but it’s feeling like my first—probably because it has more meaning to it. It has a definite sound. It’s not just scattered thoughts. I just wanted to go for the shit that I’m going through now. It’s a lot of shit that I think about, shit that I see. It’s more in my mind and I’m telling actual stories.

MJF: Do you think as a rapper, or artist in general, that you have a lane?

JC: I don’t know. I feel like I’m pretty balanced. I just do whatever I feel. I’ll do some conscious stuff, but I like a lot of hype ass shit too.

MJF: Let me throw out some names for you: youheardthatnew.com, the smoking section, mostlyjunkfood.com, 2dopeboyz, onsmash—the list keeps going. What does it mean to you to have your music featured on all of these marquee blogs?

JC: Man, it’s fucking crazy. It’s really unreal to me. We’re in this new age of Hip-Hop and I feel like the Internet is a crucial part of it. Before I even thought about going hard and trying to get featured on blogs, I would just be on those sites looking up all the new shit and checking it out. Now when I see myself on some of them it’s weird. And I still have a regular ass job.

MJF: What does the rest of 2012 have in store for Joe Cool and what kind of impact do you want to have?

JC: Just a hell of a lot of music, some dope ass visuals and a lot of shows. I always wanted to be one of those guys that people talked about because my music was that shit and because they related to me. That’s all I used to think about. That’s why I started music in the first place. In a sense, it helped me raise myself. Nowadays, a lot of people don’t have dads and you can’t go to your mom for certain shit that only men should talk about. So I feel like music, it helped me raise myself. That’s why I want people to relate to me. I want to be ‘that’ rapper.

You can follow Joe Cool on Twitter here and download Cooley Hi below.


DOWNLOAD: Joe Cool – Cooley Hi



Us v. Them: Stop Online Censorship

January 18, 2012 7 comments

While today marks the day that all of your favorite sites (Google, Wikipedia, Reddit, etc.) have gone dark in protest of the SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and PIPA (PROTECT IP Act) bills that are being heavily shopped around congress, we here at Mostly Junk Food also have a duty to pass on awareness in any form. While many blogs hang in a limbo that prevents guerrilla tactics like a complete site blackout, the commotion isn’t simply symbolic. SOPA and PIPA are bills that, no matter what side of the aisle you find your seat, infringe upon your rights as an active member of the social-internet community.

My preaching can only go as far as the wood in my soapbox can hold, but the folks at Fight For the Future (non-profit) put together this video that says all, and more, than I could ever say:

PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future on Vimeo.

This is not just a hindrance on convenience here. We all know where to get the newest leaks. Most of us know how to go about seeing episodes of our favorite shows for free. I’ve certainly got some skeletons in my WinRAR folder. But, regulation can’t come by complete government takeover, especially in a medium that is chiefly supported by user interaction.

SOPA: The Facts

From censoring search engines, to cornering domain names, to blacklisting specific websites, merely based on suspicion, the SOPA bill — originally penned as the CFSA, or Commercial Felony Streaming Act — carries the most direct (and consequential) verbiage of the two. Originally introduced by House Representative Lamar Smith (R-TX), the proposal spends several pages hiding behind the guise of protecting against infringement on intellectual properties, counterfeit drugs, and a general initiative founded on the basis of total, web-based content control.

The thesis itself isn’t all too convoluted. As previously acknowledged, the internet is pretty much the Wild West of media sharing. Once a seed (read: file) is planted, its roots are forever entrenched in the infinite garden of the blogosphere. But, that’s the point. Rep. Howard Coble’s (R-NC) Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) from 1998 understood this, to an extent, calling for “copyright owners who felt that a site was hosting infringing content are required to request the site to remove the infringing material within a certain amount of time”. With SOPA, it’s do or die, moving to bypass the previous “safe harbor” provision — a.k.a the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995 — by placing the responsibility for detecting and policing infringement onto the site itself, and allowing judges to block access to websites “dedicated to theft of U.S. property.”

What’s so offensive is that SOPA plans to revoke the checks and balances of a self-regulating internet, filtered by the people who know it the best, and pushes to replace it with the profit-guided hand of Hollywood and the U.S. Department of Justice. Which, essentially, denounces any legitimacy of sites that are doing just fine operating within the current rules and guidelines (present company included).

PIPA: The Facts

While SOPA is the blatant, amorphous piece of legislation that speaks the loudest on Capital Hill, it’s the PIPA bill that holds the most immediate treat. In less than a week, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid will bring the current iteration of the bill to a vote. The brass tacks of the bill (as elaborated in the above video) pretty much read as such:


The Protect IP Act says that an “information location tool shall take technically feasible and reasonable measures, as expeditiously as possible, to remove or disable access to the Internet site associated with the domain name set forth in the order”. In addition, it must delete all hyperlinks to the offending “Internet site”.


While both bills overlap on several aspects, PIPA is where the metaphoric triggers are pulled; hence its hasty delivery through Congress. PIPA goes for the throat with its stringent measures for domain names with DNS (Domain Name System) blocking and redirection, however, it’s the bill’s focus on domestic sites that most heavily imposes on our constitutional rights.

The lines get muddled when the language in the proposal turns to buzzwords like “facilitate” and “influence”. By the implied definitions, sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube are prime targets, and the inclusion of these stipulations suggests that social media and blogs could face consequences equal to, or more strict, than a multimillion-dollar company, simply based on a criteria that doesn’t, and could never, apply to all websites alike.

What You Can Do

Look, as far as movements go, this is the one that may define our generation. It’s a far cry from raising a defiant hand to a column of tanks in Tiananmen Square, but, at this very time, we can’t allow those tanks to leave base. Our government has proven that suspension of rights is not out of its realm of capabilities (*cough* Patriot Act *cough*), so time is of the essence.

American Censorship has a petition, contact information, and a template in place for anyone who is behind the cause. You can write your representative (or, if you’re outside the U.S., the State Department) and express your demand for a vote of “no” on cloture of S. 968, the PROTECT IP Act, on January 24th.

But, honestly, our best defense is to simply stay aware. There is much that is out of the public’s hands right now, but our voices are undoubtedly being heard, and we must use this time to get louder and stronger.

Mark Twain once said “Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak because a baby can’t chew it”. Let’s keep censorship out of our kitchen and tell Congress to “let us cook!”


Drunk Bloggin On A Wednesday: 1/18/2012

January 17, 2012 23 comments

Bauce Sauce Mugshot

Hey Junkfoodies,

It’s your least favorite blogger, Bauce Sauce aka your favorite black militant friend’s favorite octaroon, here. I’ve been absent for a few weeks, and for that I apologize. I just got a promotion so I’ve been working 60 hour plus weeks, getting certifications (I’m BING certified, bitch!), doing P90x (isn’t the point of doing P90x to tell people you are doing P90x? PS: I’m doing P90x) and planning for the impending birth of my child in the next few weeks. I know what you’re thinking, “NO ONE FUCKING CARES YOU PEDANTIC FAGGOT.” However, needless to say, I’ve been busy and life has been hectic. I feel sorrow when I think of how I have neglected this site and you all. So, I’m going to try and do a post series (hopefully weekly, but perhaps bi-weekly) where I legitimately get drunk and just start typing shit and see what vile prose spews forth from my fingers… I didn’t think of this idea until two minutes ago when I started typing. I don’t plan on editing my post for grammar, and I plan on talking about whatever happens to be on my inebriated brain, music-related or not. One paragraph in, and I already feel like this is a bad idea. I am six Sam Adams Latitude 48 IPAs and 4 Yuenglings deep. Let the roguery ensue.

Fuck Pitbull, LMFAO & Flo Rida


My Alpine Bluetooth adapter was fucking up on my lunch break drive to procure chicken wings to stuff my fat face hole (But I just started P90x bruh). I was forced to listen to the *shudder* RADIO *gasps from the peanut crowd*. It makes me tinkle a little bit in disgust just thinking about it. On my drive to get chicken wings (15 minutes) I heard a Flo Rida song, LMFAO song and a Pitbull song… all of which sounded the same. All of which had no substance. All of which were designed by robots to get Italian meatheads fist pumping and ditzy white bitches dancing (and become more susceptible to fuck outside their race).

What a lot of middle schoolers with Pitbull ringback tones don’t know is that Pitbull used to rap almost exclusively about moving cocaine. He was a part of that Miami upheaval circa 2006-2008 that had Rick Ross leading the charge. Then, after he realized that rapping about one night stands and guest features on Julio Iglesias songs pay much better than trying to prove he is a drug kingpin (sound familiar?), he changed his whole fucking steez. Now he does commercials for Nikon or Cannon (I DON’T KNOW WHICH ONE BECAUSE WIKIPEDIA IS SHUT DOWN IN A STOP SOPA EFFORT AND I CAN’T LOOK THAT SHIT UP) and has a minimum of 17 songs on the radio at any given time. Get that gwap, I suppose.

Flo Rida (YOU GET IT FLO RIDA = FLORIDA BC HE’S FROM THERE BUT IT ALSO IS LIKE RIDING A FLOW WHICH IS RAPPING SO IT HAS LIKE TWO MEANINGS) used to be Ricky Rozay’s go-to dude for hooks for mixtape tracks. He would also rap about quasi-street shit. He dropped that miserable one-single-producing “Mail On Sunday” album in 2008 then said “I’m going to make money instead.” Flo Rida makes sure that he has 29 songs or more on the radio at any given time.

Did you know that LMFAO has a credit on Watch The Throne? Yep. They did some extra programming on Lift Off, which makes sense, as it was the worst song on the album. Redfoo and Sky Blu, yeah… those are their names… released the “I’m In Your City Trick” quadruple album. 52 tracks of the same song, except they dub in 52 various city names on the chorus. #BigAssFuckingWhaleCountenace. You can’t get worse pandering than that. All of their music sounds the same and I hate them. So so so so so so sosososososososososo much. Many people don’t know that they were in-laws to Michael Jackson and are direct descendants of Motown founder, Berry Gordy. They could have taken the respectable route, but instead said “Fuck it! Let’s make the soundtrack to surprise club-floor fingerbangs.”


So I get my chicken wings (bacon chipotle-flavored, I know you were thinking it) and get back into my car. I was in The Fresh Market for only 20 minutes. I come back out and hear MORE FUCKING PITBULL. This is what is wrong with America. Not unemployment, not mass foreclosures, not financial corruption. It’s the fact that LMFAO, Pitbull and Flo Rida are able to freely sexually assault our children’s ear drums on an hourly basis. I’m convinced that if Pitbull, LMFAO and Flo Rida did a song together, it would legitimately be the only song the radio would play. Oh, and LMFAO works out… did I mention I’m doing P90x?

MORE LIKE L-M-F-A-NO AMIRITE?

“S”-ing Your “B” Hole

Shaved Butt Cat
This isn’t music related at all, but I thought I should share this with the masculine masses. Guys… you gotta shave your butthole. Not only is it more attractive, but it’s also more functional. For instance, girls aren’t going to want to massage a guy’s prostate while blowing them if they have to fight through a follicle jungle with their index finger. You’ll also be able to more effectively wipe come bowel movement time, as your sphincter hairs won’t harbor dookie particles resulting in a cleaner rectum. Plus, there’s reduced drag when doing activities like jogging and synchronized swimming.

I’ve been “S”-ing by “P,” “T” Sack and “B” Hole since I was in 7th grade. Yes, it makes you feel very pubescent and nubile (but sexy at the same time), but I think the majority of females appreciate the added aesthetics. AND IF YOU ARE A DUDE WHO IS ONLY SHAVING YOUR “BIKINI” AREA (Read: Above Your Dick Shaft Area) AND NOT YOUR SCROTUM, YOU’VE GOT THE GAME ALL FUCKED UP. No lady is going to be like, “Oh, I like this smooth Upper Dick Area… but I LOVE the fact that his balls look like a fuzzy, rotten peach.” Shave that shit. It’s not scary. Just fucking do it.

Also, switch to bikini briefs: not only will it reduce the sweatiness and clamminess that boxers cause, but it will also almost eliminate that “boiled peanut” smell. YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT DON’T ACT LIKE YOU DON’T.

The New Breed of Rappers

Das Racist Danny Brown

I love the fact that there is a new breed of rappers that are starting to take over: Action Bronson, Danny Brown, Das Racist. It’s no longer a “young man’s game” as Danny is 30 and Action is 27 (“old” by today’s standards). I can appreciate this because I’m 25 years old and over the hill. I don’t understand young whippersnappers now a days, and am generally confused at their antics. I find myself trying to tell them how great the 90′s were. What I also enjoy is that Action Bronson was a highly-talented chef and one day was just like “Let me see if I can do this rap shit,” and he did. Das Racist puts out super solid material that is purchased and downloaded tens of thousand times over despite Heems touting on songs and Twitter that he just raps because it’s easy and makes money and he gets free drinks. “I don’t even like to rhyme, love, but love this life of mine.” – The Inimitable Cam’ron, seems so apropos. Look at the XXL Freshmen nominees. Most of those guys are in their mid 20′s or 30′s and been grinding for a while. It’s a beautiful time for hip hop.

Artists and Social Media

Social Media

A few weeks ago, blogosphere heartthrob Azealia Banks got twat-hurt when Kreayshawn retweeted a post from Porn Hub that included a Banks link with the attached text of “I Guess These Cunts Getting Eaten.” Banks took offense and the following interchange took place:

Azealia Banks: @Kreayshawn you think you’re funny? You’re a dumb bitch. And you can’t rap. I’ll sit on your face. … Fall back slut

Azealia Banks: This is how bitches wanna start the new year? They want their mics ate this early? Omfg. Why fuck with me tho? What have I ever said about you or done to you for that matter? Ok. Ok. I’m done. This is silly.

Kreayshawn: Huh? What did I do to you? I’ve been listening to your music all month. Strange. Stranger! [According to Digital Spy this Tweet was deleted]

Kreayshawn: Did I just get smashed on twitter because I was supporting a fellow female? I sure did… *confused*

Azealia Banks: whatever. Of All the things to rt, u rt something from pornhub. pick your fights more wisely. And when u do pick one don’t switch it up once someone’s at your neck.

Azealia Banks: you’re always tryna be cute and funny but your not built for it. Really your (sic) not.

Azealia Banks: Ok. From now on I will no longer react to any shade thrown my way. Especially if said shade thrower is trying to be subliminal and sideways. Subliminal shots are #pussy …. And not the good kind.

Not only was that stupid, but it showed how much of a egoist Azealia is. She started shit because she jumped to conclusions. In the end, she looked like an idiot. Personally, I didn’t see anything special about her, but after that I decided to swear her off for good.

Artists just don’t understand how to properly use Social Media. I’m not saying that every artist should be like Ashton Kutcher and hand their Twitter & Facebook feed over to an agency, but they just aren’t smart. They think it’s a “personal” account. However, it’s really their brand. Their name is their brand and “lashing out irrationally” (shouts to The Santa Clause refernce) doesn’t do anything but negatively impact that.

A couple months back I was sending several tweets with the hashtag #TerribleRapperNames e.g. Willy Northpole and Roscoe P. Coldchain. I used Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire as one, as well. A day later I get confronted by… and I’m not lying here… his “Creative Director and Idea Curator,” who retaliates in a terribly unclever manner. We proceed to go back and forth. I tell him that I was actually a fan of MME… he tells me that I should “know how it goes.” More back and forth. Him saying he “would expect the same.” He then hits me with this wonderful retaliation right before he reads my bio and sees I write/moderate for Rap Genius, now his whole disrespectful attitude switches with this tweet. Give me a fucking break.

The problem with the ease of access and ubiquity (pretty good for being drunk right?) of social media is that artists don’t have direction by an agency or wise manager. They alienate fans and lose revenue by having knee jerk reactions and conflicts over the Internet. As a result, I personally will never listen or support anything that Azealia Banks or Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire, which is a shame because I happened to like their work.

Side Note: If you put the name Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire in a tweet with a negative connotation, he will say something to you. He has “google alerts” (as he said to our boy Catf1sh [which isn't possible because Google Alerts don't scour twitter {probably a saved Twitter search}]) set up for his name. He’s like the fucking Candyman.

Losing Weight

P90x

So, my boss decided to pay 85% of employee’s gym membership rates and I’m trying to lose all this lard I’ve been carrying around since college (Note to high schoolers: Don’t drink a 2-Liter of Cheerwine a day, the results are not good). I’ve been doing P90x (did I mention that?) at my old high school, with my old high school basketball coach (Here’s a pic of me during the state championship game) and I was wondering if any of you Junkfoodies were fitness freaks who could give me some insight into the best diet to lose weight. Should I take supplements or start smoking weed and hope my metabolism increases? Or both? Just wanted some help because the person who loses the most body fat percentage gets a cash prize, and I want the cash to spend on peyote. Seriously, any help would be appreciated. I’ve also been doing cardio on off days, running about 3 miles in the evening.

Conclusion

I ran out of beer, time to close up shop. 14 beers were consumed leading up to and during the writing of this post. I really would like to hear back from you guys. Suggestions for weight loss? What do you think of artists using their social media pages? Would you do the same thing I did by boycotting artists based on principles? Should I keep doing these? Should I fuck SOPA in its grimy civil liberty-raping, cavernous asshole? Ladies, is Marc a dude you have on your “sex bucket list?” Any other dudes rock bikini briefs? Ladies, what is your opinion on bikini briefs or guys shaving their “B” hole? Will radio ever be salvageable/decent? What do you guys think of Flo Rida/Pitbull/LMFAO?

I know that’s a lot of questions, but you guys usually don’t interact with us and I am genuinely interested in your feedback. Is this type of post series something you would read? Is it too weird/off the wall? Are there other topics/things you’d like me to drunkenly talk about? Oh fuck, in my stream of conciousness writing and trying to focus on not making grammar errors… I just urinated a smidge in my bikini briefs. Not to worry, it was absorbed, but still that just happened. Plus, I gotta get up in 3 hours to do P90x because I’m doing P90x. I think I need to go now. Okay. Thanks. Bye.



MJF Presents: The 1st Annual RAJYS

January 4, 2012 11 comments

Ladies and Gentlemen, I welcome to you the first annual RAJYS awards! Kinda like the Grammys and Emmys combined, but way better and less biased. Ever year we see list after list of the same ‘top’ albums that appear on numerous blogs. What’s the fun in that? I’ve decided that creating a faux award show might make things more interesting (or maybe it won’t.) Plus, this is the only kind of award where you won’t have to wait three months to see both the nominees and the winner of each category. All the voting is done by me. Shall we begin?

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Best in Beef 2011

December 28, 2011 4 comments

2011 was a down-year for rap beef. It was full of these little mini-tiffs that never went anywhere (Yelawolf v. Machine Gun Kelly) and has-beens trying to hang on (Canibus v. Slaughterhouse and J.Cole). Rappers are slacking: CHRIS BROWN has been in more beef than anybody this year. While I’m glad that the absence of conflict means less senseless violence, I couldn’t get at least ONE chair-throwing incident at an awards show?

Here’s a rundown of Beef 2011. And for 2012? OVOXO Drake sending his supposed goons at Matisyahu at his next show.

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Mostly Junk Food’s Top 25 Hip-Hop Songs of 2011

December 24, 2011 12 comments

If you thought Hip-Hop was dead in 2011, you weren’t following Mostly Junk Food. MJF’s Top 25 Hip-Hop Songs of 2011– in concert with tomorrow’s Top 25 Albums (Not Just Hip-Hop, As Some Of Our Other Writers Have Diverse and Interesting Tastes) of 2011– will shed light on the most important and influential work of the year. Study and memorize this shit. Hit the jump for the best list of the year.

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Blue Dream

December 8, 2011 30 comments



‘To me, Blu is the rap version of Len Bias.’


I was watching a UFC fight today with one of my roommates. I watched Jon Jones absolutely destroy this cat named Rampage Jackson. Both are extremely skilled fighters, but Jones simply overpowered Jackson. We started comparing UFC to boxing, and the recurring theme we had was that the heavyweight division in boxing will never be what it once was. This is the case for two main reasons: 1) few boxing matches end in a KO or TKO so the decision is always an iffy result, and 2) boxing is extremely corrupt. There’s probably some boxer out there right now who could run amuck in the heavyweight division but he will never get a chance to show his exploits on this type of platform. Even though his talent is equal or superior he doesn’t have a certain image that the promoters feel is marketable, therefore they don’t want to risk him becoming an unmarketable champion. In the end, champions, of all sports, are commodities and it’s easier to profit off of ones that are marketable.

I like to view musicians just like sports champions. All professional athletes are talented, just as most musicians are talented. It takes a certain kind of talent to arrange melodies or lyrics in a manner that makes them appealing to listeners. However, the difference between a regular, run of the mill artist and a full-fledged superstar has little to do with the music usually and more with the package deal. The perfect storm of elements that help to catapult an artist from the middle of the pack to that champion status, where they are revered as one of the best in their profession. Sometimes you are just in the right place at the right time to reap the benefits of a great situation. Just ask The Game or Adam Morrison.

I feel that an artist cannot become successful in the music industry unless they have the right combination of talent and buzz. A lack of talent must be compensated by more than average buzz, and vice versa. And once it is discovered that a particular artist has talent and buzz they must capitalize on that buzz. It’s one thing to be viewed as talented; it’s another once your talent is acknowledged while you are at the height of your popularity so that you expand the time frame of your 15 minutes of fame. For example, let’s look at Drake. Drake is extremely talented and generated a ton of buzz by aligning himself with Lil Wayne and his Young Money label, and capitalized on this buzz by releasing his #1 album “Thank Me Later”. Kendrick Lamar is another artist that comes to mind that used his talent to generate a buzz and is capitalizing on the buzz that he is generating. Capitalizing on the buzz you generate is what separates talented artists. That is the main difference between an artist such as Lupe Fiasco and a very similar, lesser known artist such as Blu.

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Pulpit Pop: The Perception of Religion in Modern Music

November 23, 2011 4 comments

A realization came to me a few days ago while listening to an old mixtape I threw together in 8th grade. Amidst the odd collection of “Work It”-era Missy, “Ass Like That”-era Eminem, and seven chapters of R. Kelly’s Trapped in the Closet, — before he jumped the shark with that weird through-story about the cheating housewife, a black leprechaun, and Omar from the wire (in a stunning career turn) — there lay Kanye West’s “Jesus Walks”.

If any reminder is necessary, “Jesus” Walks” was a straight-up-and-down hit. That song drilled the screws into Kanye’s pedestal. What’s more, as a “single”, it was a direct reference to an established religious figure. That spells mass-appeal suicide in most PR offices. But, there it is, nestled in between what my 13 year old sensibility had been programmed to deem “pop”.

The unique nature of Ye’s most successful gospel record begs the question: Where are the lines drawn when it comes to religion in popular music?
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