I Choose You: Rap’s Obsession With Pikachu

March 12, 2014 2 comments

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Photoshop via Connor Smith // Featured Image via Cam Kirk

It’s common knowledge rappers have been infatuated with Benihana’s since the dawn of rapping — our very own Bauce Sauce has done extensive research on the matter. However, there is a lesser-known entity rappers are obsessed with. I’m of course talking about Pokémon. Yes, it may seem like an abstract idea that should skirt the constant flexing and overt masculinity associated with rap, but, when rappers aren’t indulging at Benihana’s, they’re at home watching Pokémon and thinking of creative ways to incorporate Pokémon-related lines in their songs. A crowd favorite Pokémon is Pikachu, the lovable, yellow mouse.

This may seem strange because there’s nothing about Pikachu that embodies hip-hop. He’s a small, yellow mouse and certainly not as capable of fucking your bitch as say a Charizard or a Blaziken; so, why are rappers gravitating toward Pikachu so much? This question may never be answered — just like whether or not Gavin Rossdale did 9/11. We’ll never know for sure, but what we do know is rappers love to use Pikachu in lines ranging from really good to acceptable to really bad. Because we love you (and #content), we broke down the best to worst Pikachu lines in existence.

WORTHY OF WINNING A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE LINES ABOUT PIKACHU

Got the purple drink, got the yellow drink / Then we mix it up, call it Pikachu – A$AP Rocky

I’m not an Art major, but mixing purple and yellow doesn’t get any of the colors that are associated with Pikachu. Pikachu doesn’t even have purple on his body anywhere? However, creative license exists and in using it, Rocky created one of the best lines to aggressively rap along with at the turn up function.

Two bad bitches in my vehicle / Yellow hood rats like Pikachu – A$AP Ferg

This is the second A$AP Mob member to appear on this list. Now that Pokémon is on Netflix, how many times have the A$AP Mob members watched Pokémon together? Do you think the A$AP Mob shares a Netflix account and Twelvy gets upset at Nast because Nast watched the 8th episode when Twelvy was on the 7th, but Nast stopped watching at the Pokémon rap portion and fucked up auto-play for Twelvy? Which Pokémon is Yams’ favorite? All questions that need to be answered promptly.

My diamonds, they say Pikachu, they say Pikachu / I’m a boss, I walk through the club and just peek at you / My diamonds, they say Pikachu, they gon’ wink at you / I’m a boss, bitch I’mma walk through and just peek at you – Young Thug

Young Thug deserves to be in the hall of fame and, if you’re a regular Mostly Junkfood reader, you know I will lay down my life to protect Thugger. These lines are beautiful not only because they let the haters know Thugger is well-off, but they’re also an encapsulation of the beauty of walking into the turn up function and seeing a bae across the room. His diamonds are so large they sparkle like an electric type Pokémon, as they lay on top of his famous pirate shirt. And, at the very moment he walked in, he found a bae he wants to peek at. A true modern romance.

I’m runnin’ in your crib like I’m Kramer off of Seinfeld / You sleepin’ boo? I slide thru, like PeekaBoo / You frozen in shock, now ya nickname is Pikachu – Future Christ

Imagen Sinefild on TV today. I actually don’t know what this means, but it’s Future Presley, so it counts.

Peek a boo / My diamonds Pikachu / Pikachu (Ew, fuck out my face!) / No way, I don’t wanna look at you! – Migos (Quavo)

Sometimes simplicity is best. There is nothing overtly impressive about these lines; however, they are memorable. This is the antithesis of the previous Young Thug line. It isn’t so much about finding a boo while wearing your diamonds as much as it is about throwing Zapdos levels of shade at your haters. Next time you’re in the the vicinity of a perceived hater, walk up to them and scream, “EW, FUCK OUT MY FACE!” You’ll be better off for it, I promise you that. (Disclaimer: Mostly Junkfood is not responsible for misperceived haters. Proceed with caution.)

ACCEPTABLE BUT NOT GREAT LINES ABOUT PIKACHU

Pinky ring stupid same colour as peekabu / Got them diamonds on and they yellow like pikachu – OJ da Juiceman

I miss OJ da Juiceman. Someone who has connections to OJ da Juiceman needs to reach out to him and tell him to begin making music again. We miss you, Ju-mane.

We warriors, who the fuck are you? / I pop an E and the gun go Pikachu – Method Man

Comparing the whimsy associated with Saturday cartoons with guns should be the new move from here on out. The first thing I think about when I hear Pikachu is waking up early eating and a bowl of cereal in my pajamas, but now you just made me think about murder. That’s fucked, but also really cool.

I’m talkin’ clappin’ toasts, bullets’ll hit your roof / They hit his body he went in shock, no Pikachu – Meek Mill

Again, balancing murder with Pokémon is a good look. Continue doing this, rappers. Some suggestions: body frozen-Articuno, arson-Charizard, hiding a body in the ground-Diglet. All of these are free to use for any rapper that reads this post.

But I pack a right hook only Robin Givens knew / Knock him out, paramedics had to use the Pikachu – Vince Staples

This would’ve made the higher tier, but I don’t fuck with domestic violence. Even with the domestic violence line, it’s still not worse than the ones below, which speaks volumes.

Lady your smile light up the room, Pikachu / You could put a nigga in a tomb (One) peek-at-chu – Ab-Soul

This is pretty weak and I couldn’t justify putting two Ab-Soul lines on the worst list, so it’s here. It’s on the lower end of “acceptable” veering into “why?”

WHY DID YOU EVEN WRITE THESE LINES ABOUT PIKACHU

I’m like Pikachu shovin’ a metal fork into a socket / I’m electric, style eclectic, all these haters try to mock it – Chris Webby

Well, you got your wish, Chris Webby, because I’m here to mock the shit out of this line. I’m honestly upset this was thought up and put in a song. Why would Pikachu even shove a metal fork into a socket? Pikachu understands his limits; he knows he’s not invincible. As for, “I’m electric, style eclectic”? Read this as “white.”

Breaking news, breaking news / I’m enlightening like Pikachu – Ab-Soul

*sigh*

Fuck you up like a double stack Pokémon / Pikachu you’re a puss – IAM

I don’t know who IAM is, but you don’t get to call Pikachu a puss and get away with it. What would even motivate a human being to call a Pokémon a puss? My mind vexed, bruh.

You niggas think too slow, you Pikachu but I’m Picasso / Peep how I do it, gotta deep mind so I free my quotes – Wale

Where to begin, Wale? Where to begin, indeed. Pikachu is notorious for being quick so by calling someone Pikachu you’re actually calling them fast and not slow. Strike one. I can assure you, Wale, Picasso would never complain about a Complex list. Strike two. Also, “Peep how I do it, gotta deep mind so I free my quotes,” sounds like a Jaden Smith tweet. Strike three. EW, FUCK OUT MY FACE, WALE!

Kush so loud, lit it up and my speakers blew / Monster in my pocket like Ash keep Pikachu – Chip$

I just needed a fifth to round out the list.

Alex Hancock has never beaten The Elite Four. He’s on Twitter: @hancxck