What Did We Learn This Week? Vol. 1

May 21, 2011 6 comments

What We Learned This Week Logo

It’s your main centaur, Bauce Sauce aka Pete HAMpras here, and I’ve drummed up the idea for a weekly series where we recap the various stories/facts that emerged and I try to consolidate them for easy consumption akin to a pop culture/music pink-goo chicken nugget. Hopefully, these posts will generate discussion and add value to the blogosphere so The Hype Machine stops slacking and adds MJF. This week we look at: white girls rapping, the current state of “swag,” athletes rapping, Randy Savage and the Rapture. Leave some feedback on what you liked/disliked and if this is something you would regularly check.

What Did We Learn This Week?

White Girls Rapping


Oakland representer and all-around swagged-out femcee Kreayshawn of the White Girl Mob recently dropped her catchy single “Gucci Gucci.” This earworm has definitely replaced “Zan With That Lean” as the song that is on repeat in my Winamp Player. Apparently, she is cool with Andy Milonakis, Soulja Boy, Lil B and Odd Future (Look for the Left Brain and Jasper cameos). My question is how seriously are/can white female emcees be taken? Is it a niche/joke? And am I the only one who thinks those covers by Karmin were a minstrel-like mockery of rap? Female emcees have long been marginalized, this can’t be denied, but will the world ever accept a commercial (white) female rapper? I doubt it. But if so, how would they have to be packaged?

SWAG

Swag is Dead, Diddy Killed It
I think we can all agree that the word “swag” is used predominantly as tongue-in-cheek. It’s fun to say; it’s fun to portmanteau into other words like: Bob Swaggit, Swagatha Christie, Swaggravated, etc.; it’s a great alternative to “dope” and “cool.” However, this week Diddy set out to officially kill all the remaining dignity of “swag” by literally changing his name to Swag for a week, which Lil B cosigned.

When our elders start adopting youth interests is when it becomes uncool (Examples: Facebook, Texting, Jack Rogers, Crystal Meth). You can see how ironic Diddy is being when he makes this decision (And he was obviously a couple Coconut Ciroc shots deep)… but even with its playful undertone I can’t bring myself to take this swag thing seriously anymore. It’s officially dead to me. With that being said I’d like to get it out of my system:

Swagamemnon, Jet Swag, DeSwag my Hard Drive, Swageline Albright, Andre Swaggasi, David Swagglehoff, Oh the Swagony, Swaggle Rock, Swaggro Crag, Secretary of Swagriculture, Swagneto, Swagave Nectar, Texas A&M Swaggies, Swagnostic, French Swaguettes, Swagabond (No Hobo), Swaghetti with Meatballs, Scallyswags, Swag-top Deville, Swagamuffin, Swagmire (Cashflow I giggity-get it), Pentswagon, Swagnifying Glass, Lollyswagging, The R&B Group: Swagged Edge, Creature from the Black Swagoon

Are there any I missed? What are you guys’ thoughts about using the word “swag”? Officially dead? Should we have a worldwide moment of silence?

Athletes Turned Rappers

Carlos Boozer, not a rapper

Carlos Boozer ft. Twista & Mario Winans – Winning Streak

Unlike most of the MJF family, I am not a Midwesterner. These guys love them some Chicago Bulls, but I think I speak for them when I say that Carlos Boozer… yes, that Carlos Boozer… dropping this mind-boggling song with Twista and Mario Winans is humiliating. The only plus side is the fact that we now know who ghostwrites for Big Sean #GroinGroin.

You are probably familiar with Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal (who even got a Notorious B.I.G. feature), but what you might not have known is that there are many other NBA players whose athletic talent did not translate over to music.
List of Other NBA Ballers Who Have Disgraced The Mic:

And in case you were wondering what Rony Seikaly a.k.a. “The Spin Doctor” has been up to… apparently he’s a badass club DJ (41 second mark).
Are there any others of note that I missed?

Randy Savage

Randy Savage Ascends Heaven's Staircase

The “Macho Man” Randy Savage passed away this week, which is a shame as he was one of the greatest wrestling personalities of all time. In addition to having a mean elbow drop and a fondness for Slim Jims, what many people might not know is that he actually released a full length rap album: “Be a Man.” Pack the bowl, light up and peep his diss track to the Hulkster:
Macho Man – “Be A Man (Hulk Hogan Diss)”

Macho Man Be a Man Cover Art

Bonus:Crazy “Macho Man” Promo during his heavy cocaine years.

The Rapture

The Rapture 2011
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That shit didn’t happen. Everyone knows the world ends on December 21, 2012. Idiots!! Word to the Mayans. Real talk though… if you are worried about being taken up in the rapture, but are concerned about your pets the people over at Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA can make sure that while you are being saved by Jesus, your pets are being looked at by left-behind atheists. It only costs $135 plus $20 per additional pet. This is genius. Anyone got some other good business ideas to scam the uber-crazies?