What Did We Learn This Week? Vol. 6
August 7, 2011 6 comments
August 1-7, 2011
What up world? This is Sway Bauce Sauce. I know it’s been awhile since I did this lovely weekly series, but I’m back with a vengeance. I’ve assembled the hot topics to make you all masters of witty banter at your next dinner party. Why? Because mostly junk food is for the people. This episode we tackle:
- Memes
- Watch The Thone: Unleakable
- The Return of Shawty Mane
- Retro Music Videos Done Right
- “Big” Arrests
- This Week In Music History
Hit the jump and lets get to tickling your musical pickles (maybe homo?).
Memes
The term Internet meme is used to describe a concept that spreads via the Internet, and I ♥ memes. Everyone here at MJF adores them. You’ll often see us interpolate Drake lyrics or hit Twitter with a #HurtsWhenBreathe at least thrice a fortnight. I’ve compiled a list of my personal faves and some new ones I’ve discovered recently so that you guys can stay atop of your esoteric jokes.
- *Drake Hand Movement*: References Drake’s propensity to wiggle his Parkinson’s-laden hand. Used to punctuate a flex claim i.e. I just replaced the hubcaps on my ’94 Camry *Drake Hand Movement*.
- Hugs From Drakes: A niche Tumblr dedicated to showcasing Drake’s most affectionate embraces.
- Thank You Based God: Never gets old. I use this primarily when a woman I would like to cunniling’s breast pops out. Also, this one.
- Hurts When Breathe: Came from P Diddy’s twitter feud with Jay Electronica when he signed to Roc Nation. Usage: (Look at Bank Account, see $1.27) Hurts When Breathe.
- Pretty Ass Dolphin/Swag Daddy: Came about from Soulja Boy’s new song Swag Daddy,which is quickly becoming the new Zan With That Lean. In one line, Soulja says “Came up out the water like a pretty ass dolphin.” I have found it great to substitute this phrase instead of “Like a BOSS.”
- Fuck our summer up/Birdman Hand Rub: Fuck our summer up comes from Birdman’s tweet after Miami lost the finals (and subsequently losing millions of dollars for the Star Tattoo-Headed CEO). Birdman hand rub comes from Complex magazine’s list of music video history of Birdman rubbing his hand’s together. Can either be used lasciviously or victoriously ie “Direct Deposit just dropped! *Birdman Hand Rub*.
What are your favorite memes? Y U NO? Uber Frosh? Which ones should I have listed? Enlighten us with a comment.
Watch The Thone: Unleakable
By the time you are reading this, Watch The Throne has most likely already been legally accessible. How though? How could something NOT leak? In this digital day and age of Mediafire uploads and torrents? Here’s my thoughts:
- Releasing it digitally first allowed the containment of physical release copies being stolen/ripped
- Hand-picked veteran engineers, mixers, producers who don’t send it to the homies down the block.
- Bribing aforementioned hand-picked veteran engineers, mixers, producers with a flossy-ass Rolex.
- Threaten to ruin the career/lives of anyone caught leaking the album.
- Have Internet goons and the government “watching out” for the Throne. (See: DDot Omen Snippets Scandal)
- Hire an ex-Israeli Army vet to keep an external hard drive with the masters on it in a steel briefcase attached to his wrist. (This may or may not be factually accurate)
The real questions are: Can any other artist replicate this success and how much $$$$$ did it cost to ensure this album didn’t leak? Leave a comment with any other further ideas of how they avoided a leak.
The Return of Shawty Mane
OK, stop, drop and roll Justin Bieber is on fire
Chris Brown dropped this…errrrr…. “project” where he tries to convince people he can rap and that he isn’t still a whiny woman beater, man-child with daddy/authority issues. Well, he failed on both accounts. However, the only really good thing to come out of “A Boy In Detention” is the return of Shawty Mane. We first got a glimpse of Shawty Mane, Justin Bieber’s alter-rap-ego when he rapped over the Cam’ron and Vado instrumental of “Speaking in Tongues,” where he proceeded to steal about 8 bars from Drake little brother impersonator Tory Lanez. This time around he proceeds to drop such Big Sean-esque gems as:
Whoadere! Whoadere, baby you just need to stop
I’m busy, I’m performin and I’m going to the top,
I’ve got so much to lose so I’m steady getting guap
Retro Music Videos Done Right
You gotta love coincidences. This week we got three artists of varying buzz levels drop music videos with retro themes. From 50′s-era Doo Wop/Greaser to 90′s cheesy Soul Train to Saved By The Bell parody, these three videos from G-Eazy, Mayer Hawthorne and Miles Fisher provide a fun, paved Memory Lane road for you stroll down.
Mayer Hawthorne – Back In The Day
A Long Time – Mayer Hawthorne from MayerHawthorne on Vimeo.
“Big” Arrests”
First off, that’s my mugshot up above from my 2009 arrest at my Bachelor Party for Discharge of a Firearm Within City Limits. I stole the mugshot out of the trash can upon my release. My time inside the pokey consisted of being nicknamed “Firearm,” getting punked/trading my coffee for melon (which I don’t even like), playing chess with a dude with no teeth and getting jailhouse knowledge dropped on me when an inmate, who was arrested for Domestic Violence, asked me “You gonna tell your wife?” I said, “No” and then he replied, “You gonna start your marriage off with a lie like this?” o_O. I also was drunk off Crown XR and proceeded to do a “Live From Oconee County Jail Freestyle” for my one phone call. Anwyays…. Two “Big” arrests happened this week: Big Sean and Big Boi. No word as of yet if rapper Big Pooh was arrested, as well, completing the “Rule of Three.”
Big Sean was arrested for sexual assault. Here are some of the best jokes us mostly junk food editors came up with.
Editors Note: Rape is not funny; Rape jokes are not funny. However, all Big Sean jokes are funny and they supercede any taboo topic.
- I guess she was the most zaniest insaniest.
- Big Sean put her hand on his groin groin and made it go boing, then she was like Whoadere! Stop! But Big Sean just said “I’m gonna make this motherfucker Hammer time.”
- She wasn’t really down with it, but Sean still took his belt off and said “Bitch I’m Pootie Tang”
- “I do it… without consent.”
- Every day’s a Friday and every night’s a sex crime scene.
- This forcible touching was all inspired by a little Marvin Gaye & Chardonnay.
- What about the negative impact Big Sean’s arrest will have on Tank Top Manufacturers? Theophilus London can’t keep the industry afloat by himself.
Big Boi was arrested with some pills: Viagra, MDMA Powder and Ecstasy pills. On the plus side, Daddy Fat Sacks didn’t have a prescription for the Viagra, so that means his wiener is in perfectly working order (or he’s too proud to go to a doctor and admit he “got that dead meat” © Pimp C).
This Week In Music History
- 1779 – Francis Scott Key, composer of the “Star-Spangled Banner,” born (Shouts to author F. Scott Fitzgerald who is Francis’s second cousin, three times removed)
- 1958 – Billboard Magazine introduced its “Hot 100″ chart, which was part popularity and a barometer of the movement of potential hits. The first number one song was Ricky Nelson’s “Poor Little Fool.”
- 1962 – Robert Zimmerman legally changed his name to Bob Dylan.
- 1966 – A ban of the broadcast of any and all Beatles records on most U.S. radio stations went into effect. The ban was in response to John Lennon stating that the band was now more popular than Jesus Christ.
- 1981 – MTV made its debut at 12:01am. The first video to be shown was “Video Killed the Radio Star” by the Buggles.
- 1996 – MTV launched another channel known as M2.
Conclusion
It’s glad to be back. Leave some comments with your reflections/thoughts because I’d like to hear them. Leave suggestions for features/things to do with this weekly series or comments about my writing or your own thoughts on the sections. Peace be with you, bitches.
